Sacrifice is not welcome
by bflahavin
Summary: Kirk keeps putting himself in danger to protect his first officer. Everyone has hade enough, especially Spock.  Rating is for language.
1. Goddammit Jim!

**I don't own Star Trek no matter how much I wish to.**

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"Goddammit Jim! I know you're awake!"

Kirk rolls his eyes under his eyelids before they flutter open. He squints against the harsh lights of the sickbay.

"Hey Bones. What's up?"

McCoy's face turns a very interesting shade of red as he glares at his idiotic friend, who is currently lying on a biobed.

"What's up? WHAT'S UP? I'll tell you what's up! I recently spent four hours piecing you back to-goddamn-gether!"

Kirk pushes himself up so that his upper body is resting against the big, fluffy sickbay pillows. He gives the irate doctor his most innocent expression.

"Sorry?"

Kirk follows this with a shrug. McCoy seems to turn a shade redder if that was even possible.

"You did not just shrug at me, Mister!"

McCoy sends him a glare of death but continues.

"What did you think you were doing, jumping in front of that spear? Tell me that smart guy?"

Kirk shifts uncomfortably at the question and winces when the stitches pull in his abdomen. He looks up into his best friends face hoping to see some sympathy, but all he sees is frustration and more then a little anger.

_'Of course it is a little too much to ask for my best friend to show some compassion. What does he expect me to say? I don't even fully understand...'_

"I'm waitin' Jim!"

As Kirk focuses on McCoy's face, he can see the anger has nearly disappeared, but the frustration is still there. Lurking just under the surface.

Kirk sighs.

"They were aiming at Spock and..."

McCoy raises his hand to stop him, which really pisses Kirk off.

_'How am I meant to explain myself when I am always being interrupted?'_

McCoy seems to miss the fact that his actions have really annoyed his captain.

"He most likely would have suffered minor injuries. Nothing a few stitches and a healing trance couldn't have fixed. YOU died twice on my damn table Jim!"

Kirk shakes his head at this because it just isn't right. Not in his head anyway.

"You can't know that he would have been fine. You're gifted Bones, but seeing into the future isn't one of those gifts."

Bones' face softens as he reaches over and takes Kirk's hand in his.

"You are the Captain. You are more valuable than any other person on this ship. Spock has told you this many, many..."

Kirk snatches his hand out of McCoy's grip and points his finger at the doctor's face.

"That's not true! I am not more valuable than anyone! Especially not..."

Kirk drops his hand and his gaze as he trails off.

McCoy's eyes turn quizzical.

"Especially not... who? Spock? God Jim! Anyone would think you're in love with the hobgoblin with the way you are always jumping between him and danger."

The Captain's eyes widen in fear for a split second and then he schools them into a more casual visage.

_'Maybe Bones didn't notice. I could become a Vulcan with the way I can suppress emotions. I am totally awesome and I'm'_

"Oh my FUCKING god Jim! You ARE in love with the green blooded computer!"

_'… totally fucked!'_

The CMO starts pacing in front of the biobed and mumbling to himself. Kirk can't make out everything that is being said but he is sure he heard "grey hairs" and "gaddamn Vulcans."

Kirk's left hand brushes it's way through his short blond hair and then settles at the back of his neck, where he begins to massage it.

"Look Bones, it's fine. He doesn't know anything. We have our epic friendship and that is good enough for me. He has Uhura anyway. Why would he want me?"

This time it is McCoy's turn to shift his gaze away and look just plain uncomfortable. He mumbles something that Kirk doesn't quite catch.

"What was that Bones?"

McCoy looks at him with a bit of a 'deer caught in headlights' look.

Jim wonders what Bones is about to say that would make him so hesitant. Bones never hesitates to speck his mind and that is kind of scaring him. Kirk just knows that some epic shit is about to be said.

"Spock and Uhura broke up two months ago. Right about the time you were captured and tortured by that supposedly peaceful government."

The doctor shoots a glare at his patient.

"Oh! And let's not forget how you tricked the landing crew , which included Spock, into beaming back on board without you! Uhura and Spock had a huge blow-out because we were ordered to leave you but Spock refused. They broke up shortly after we got you back."

Kirk has a question in his eyes but McCoy cuts in before he can voice it.

"The reason I know they broke up is because they did it not two goddamn feet from where you are lying. Spock wouldn't leave your side to have a private conversation with her and she just sort of cracked. It cant be easy being placed third by your own boyfriend."

Kirk's brow creases in confusion.

"Third?"

McCoy sighs. A deep sigh that tells the Captain that McCoy really doesn't want to be having this conversation.

"In that hobgoblins brain it is you, the _Enterprise_ and, if he has any spare time, Uhura. Does that sound right to you? She is his fucking girlfriend for christsake!"

McCoy's face seems to be turning blue and Kirk just wants to lighten the mood so that McCoy doesn't have a heart attack and come back to haunt him. Because Bones would so do that.

"We have no proof that they they were actually fucking."

He gives Bones a sly little wink but by the glare Jim is receiving, he can assume that his joke was NOT appreciated.

"Shut up Jim!"

That clinches it.

Then McCoy sighs again as if what he is about to say will cause him actual physical pain.

"Jim, what I am trying to say is that you really need to stop trying to die for Spock because if you manage to actually do it, you might just break his cold Vulcan heart."

No one ever said Kirk was very good at reading between the lines and right now he can't even see the lines.

"What are you saying?"

The anger and frustration returns to the CMO's face so fast and so completely that it was hard to believe they ever left his face in the first place.

"I'm a doctor, not your own personal gaddamn magic eight ball! When I release you, you are to go and find that first officer of yours and sort this crap out. I am staying out of it. I can't make it any clearer than I have been, you brainless monkey!"

Kirk gives the doctor a dark expression as he clenches his fists that are by his side. He just doesn't understand what the hell is going on.

"I beg to differ. You haven't made anything clear."

McCoy points to the Captain in annoyance.

"Oh shut it and focus on healing! The sooner you heal the sooner you can talk to your lover boy."

Before Kirk can throw one of his pillows at his supposed friend, the doctor stomps out of the door.

Jim looks around the empty sickbay and slumps pathetically into his pillows.

"What the hell am I missing?"

The only answer he gets is the beeping of the medical equipment near his bed.


	2. No one likes a friendly Klingon!

**Ok, I said I would post this in a week but I got restless and typed it up just then. **

**I will probably post the rest of the chapters next week after I finish my assignment.**

**God, I thought reading fanfiction was addictive, but now I realise writing it is pure CRACK!**

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**Don't own Star Trek or its characters**

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Jim is released a week later and, to his utter disappointment, Spock didn't visit him once while he was held prisoner in Sickbay.

He had gotten emails about ship business that were stripped of every bit of personal warmth. They weren't harsh or rude but they seemed just a little too... professional.

Kirk began to suspect that Spock might be angry with him.

_'So much for me being his number one priority! Shows that Bones is just full of shit!'_

He continues to sulk as he makes his way from Sickbay to his quarters.

While in the the shower, he decides that he is going to hunt his first officer down and pull out the stick that has found it's way up his ass... or maybe offer a game of chess. He would have to get a feel for the room before he makes that decision.

The Captain makes it to Spock's quarters without any problems and doesn't hesitate to press the buzzer. He stands there for 30 seconds before the door slides open.

If Kirk suspected before that Spock was angry with him then it is confirmed when he laid eyes on Spock's face.

He is PISSED.

"Is there something you need, Captain?"

The way Spock said "Captain" sent a shiver up and down Kirks spine and not in a good way.

_'I really hope Spock isn't in a 'Gonna choke a bitch' mood because I didn't much like it the last time and this time I don't have any Vulcan fathers on hand to stop him.'_

Kirk lifts both of his hands, with his palms facing Spock, as a sign of surrender. Spock's eyes whip down to his Captain's hands and then back up to his face so fast that Kirk's half convinced he imagined it.

"I just wanted to see if you were up for a bite to eat and a game of chess. I haven't played with you since I got hurt and I am afraid that I might get rusty."

He gives Spock, what he hopes to be, his most charming smile. It doesn't seem to work because the smile that usually shines in Spock's eyes at such a comment, does not appear. If anything the anger seemed to grow. For the first time, in a very long time, Kirk doesn't know how to handle his XO. His heart sinks at this thought.

"I will have to decline. I have many experiments that need to be monitored and I also promised Ensign Chekov that I would..."

When Spock had started speaking, Kirk had lowered his hands to his sides but now he raises one to silence the Vulcan.

"It's fine Spock. I just wanted to spend some time with you and talk, but I won't take you away from your work."

Kirk's gaze falls to his feet as he continues to speak.

"I mean, we can play chess any time. Maybe tomorrow after Alpha shift?"

Kirk looks back up into Spock's face with a hopeful smile.

"I cannot promise anything Captain. Something of importance may come up."

Kirk's smile slips slightly but than he pulls himself together and flashes the biggest smile his face can handle. If it doesn't reach his eye, he decides he is allowed since he is only human and human are not fans of disappointment.

"That's cool Spock. See you on Alpha."

Kirk moves his hand in a way that may or may not resemble a wave and starts to walk back in the direction of his quarters.

He never notices the longing gaze Spock gives his retreating back.

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Any chance of speaking to Spock on Alpha shift are thrown straight out the airlock when a Klingon Bird of Prey decides to sneak up on the _Enterprise _ and attack it for no fucking reason. They are not helped by the fact that they are completely out gunned by the pink blooded freaks.

The only reason they were still not under attack was because the Klingon commander had taken a shine to Kirk and not in a good way.

"Give me your captain and your ship and crew can go free."

Kirk glares at the Klingon commander on the view screen.

"I am right here you lumpy bastard! You talk to me and not anyone else on my Bridge!"

The Klingon simply bares his teeth in a way that, in some other universe, might have resembled a smile.

"I am sorry. Truly I am. If you honour me with your company on my ship I will spare yours. Your crew will be safe."

Kirk turns to Bones, who is shaking his head fiercely. Thankfully he is not in the view of the screen.

_'Don't want the Klingons to gain a new focus for their attentions, Bones is just crazy enough to piss them off intentionally and get us all blown up... or eaten .'_

Kirk then turns to his XO and if looks could kill then the Klingon would have magenta blood squirting out of every single one of his orifices right about now.

_'Shame. That would be an awesome power to have. He would be my secret weapon and we would rule the Universe together and...'_

Kirk shakes himself out of that thought and tries to regain focus on the problem at hand.

He decides he doesn't need his friends' advice anyway. He made his decision the moment the Klingon commander made his demand. He was not going to allow any of his crew to be hurt when he could stop it. He wasn't going to allow Spock to be hurt.

"Drop your shields in 10 minutes and I will beam across. Kirk out."

Captain Kirk didn't even wait for the view screen to go to black before he was out of the command chair and walking to the turbolift.

"Spock, you are captain now. Don't break my ship while I'm away or I'll have to dock your pay when I get back."

Kirk is standing at the door waiting for the doors to open and hears Spock pass the Conn to Sulu.

He had a feeling that his First Officer would do something like this.

He can feel Spock standing behind him and begins to feel nervous. The doors finally open and they both step into the lift. McCoy looks ready to join them but freezes mid step when he sees the glower Spock is sending him. The doors close.

Kirk goes to place his hand on the controls and request the Transporter Room but Spock slaps his hand away. Spock grabs the controls and demands the turbolift to stop and lock.

"What the hell are you doing Spock? I only have about five minutes before I become late for my very own Klingon party!"

Spock's hands are behind his back and Kirk notices that Spock must be clenching and unclenching his fists, if the straining in his forearms that are hidden under a snug tunic, are any indication.

"You will not sacrifice yourself when other options have not been explored."

Kirk huffs a breath in frustration.

"What other options? That Klingon was pretty clear. I hand myself over or the ship is destroyed. I wont let anyone kill my crew!"

Kirk is red faced and ranting now.

"I can let them kill yo..."

The fight drains out of Kirk as Spock's eyes snap to his captain's blue ones.

"Finish what you were saying Jim?

Kirk can hear a slight pleading in that request that makes his heart beat faster. Kirk opens his mouth to speak but no words come out, so he shuts it again.

Spock's stare does not falter. Kirk just shakes his head.

"Look Spock, we are on a deadline here and I don't have time to deal with what you may or may not have heard. Unlock the fucking turbolift and..."

Spock silences Kirk by grabbing the sides of his face with both of his hands and presses his lips to the captain's in a desperate kiss. Kirk gasps and Spock deepens the kiss further.

They finally pull apart and are both a little breathless.

"You will not be going Jim. I do not wish to lose you. You are mine."

Kirk was speechless. Most of his brain has stopped functioning properly.

Seconds tick by as intelligence slowly returns to Kirk.

A very distant part of his brain, the part that was not squeeing like a teenage girl with a crush, estimates that there is one minute left to get across to the Klingon ship before the shit hits the fan.

Baring a miracle, he is pretty sure they were all screwed and it wouldn't be the fun kind of screwing. He glances at Spock's lips and sighs.

What a fucking shame!


	3. Who knew we had high beams?

**Finished the first part of my assignment so I decided to type up this chapter.**

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Apparently Kirk didn't have to worry because while he and Spock were swapping saliva in the turbolift, Sulu and Scotty had found a way to disable the Klingon ship when their shield dropped for the expected beaming.

Spock had just unlocked the turbolift when both their communicators chirp. Sulu explains how they are now warping the hell away while the Klingon ship is stuck floating in space. Something about an aimed phaser blast to their main engine connection, while Sulu distracted them by flashing the _Enterprise's _high beams.

It was really quite clever in it's insanity.

Kirk grabs the controls and orders the lift to make it's way back to the Bridge. They stand in silence, with their eyes averted, the whole time.

When the door open and they both make their way onto the Bridge, Kirk glances around at his command crew with a sheepish grin and a tiny shrug.

"I guess there were other options available after all. Who know? Thanks for saving my ass Sulu and Scott. The Federation thanks you too, because they would be so sad to lose such a valuable ass-et!"

Kirk pauses.

"Get it?"

Uhura rolls her eyes, Scotty gives a mock salute and then winks, Sulu grins and Chekov is trying, unsuccessfully, to stifle his chuckles. When Kirk turns to McCoy, he sees the worry that must have been eating away at him since his captain left the Bridge.

"Look Bones! I didn't even rip my shirt!"

The doctor gives Kirk a little crooked smile.

"You are a lucky bastard! That is what you are! Since I am not needed, for once..."

He gives a pointed look to Kirk as he says this.

"I am gonna back to Sickbay. See ya all later."

As McCoy departs the Bridge, Kirk decides to look at Spock for the first time since they exited the turbolift.

Big fucking mistake!

Spock is staring at him with an unreadable expression. Not closed off... just a look that Kirk has never seen before. It is making him antsy.

"So... uh, Mr Spock. How about some food and a game of chess at 20 hundred hours in my quarters? Unless something more important has come up."

Spock nods his head ever so slightly and his deep, brown eyes never leave Kirk's.

"Nothing of importance has presented itself, so I will be available to meet you at the appointed time and place. Now, I must go down to the labs to talk to my staff. If you will excuse me captain?"

Kirk lets out a breath that he didn't know that he was holding.

"You are excused, Commander."

Kirk spends the rest of the shift sitting in his chair and silently panicking over his 'date' with is XO tonight.

If Uhura sends him the occasional death glare, he chooses to ignore it.

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It is 19:55 and Kirk is pacing in his cabin.

_'This going to be just like every other dinner I have had with Spock. There is absolutely no reason tonight is going to be different in any way.'_

Kirk sighs and shakes his head sadly.

_'Apparently denial is also on the menu along with the vegetable pasta.'_

Kirk is startled out of his thoughts when the buzzer sounds.

"Enter."

Kirk tries to ignore the nervousness that has tainted his voice and instead decides to focus on Spock who is walking through his door.

Not really helping with his nervousness, but at least the view is nice.

"Mr Spock, it is nice of you to make it. Take a seat."

Kirk mentally face-palms himself for his awkwardness. When did talking to Spock become so difficult.

_'Probably when he sent Vulcan glares of death at you or maybe when he kissed you and claimed you as his own.'_

Kirk realises that his inner voice is not the most helpful of beings.

"I do not find it logical for me to take a piece of your furniture when I have no place to store it. It would be of better use where it currently is. I would, however, be amenable to sitting on said piece of furniture. Only if that is alright with you, Captain."

Kirk is just about to clear up Spock's misunderstanding when he sees the humour glinting in the Commander's eyes.

"Smart-ass Vulcan! Sit down already and I will get our food."

Spock's little joke has managed to do something that Kirk thought would be impossible.

It has calmed him the fuck down.

It is yet another reminder of the fact that Spock is pretty much perfect and Kirk truly digs every aspect of the complicated Vulcan.

They eat in companionable silence for which Kirk is grateful. Kirk has always hated talking over meals. He feels it takes attention away from the food. Something he swear he will never allow to happen again after Tarsus IV.

Kirk clears the table and grabs the 3D chess board off the shelf. He begins to set up the pieces.

"So Spock, are you still angry with me?"

Kirk doesn't look up from the board and so misses the look of shock that flitters across Spock's face.

"I do not know what you are referring to. Vulcans do not feel anger."

Kirk rolls his eyes as he continues to place the chess pieces on the board. He is stopped however, when one of Spock's warm hands covers one of his.

"Jim, we must talk about what happened today and what has happened many other ti..."

Kirk is still staring at the green tinged hand that is blanketing his when he cuts Spock off.

"Let's just forget about it. I don't want us to be uncomfortable with each other."

Kirk does not realise that Spock is not talking about the kiss, but about the many time the Captain has put himself in danger needlessly.

Kirk tries to move his hand out form under Spock's, but the Vulcan will not allow it. His slender fingers entwine with Kirk's and, in no way, allow for escape.

"Let us ignore the fact that I have an eidetic memory and can simply not 'forget about it' as you have suggested, but instead focus on the fact that I do not wish to forget."

Spock is bending his head and trying to catch his captain's gaze, but Kirk continues to stare blankly at their joined hands.

"Though I can in some ways agree with your actions in theory after sensing the emotions that elicit those actions, I can not and will not agree with them being put into practice."

Kirk's eyes shoot up at that statement.

"You read my mind? And wait... what actions? What are you talking about?

Spock softly shakes his head like people do just before they correct a small child. He has always known that, although a genius in many area, his captain is sometimes oblivious in others.

"I did not 'read your mind' as you so eloquently put it. When we made skin to skin contact in the lift I was able to read your surface emotions. My shield could not adequately block them."

Kirk quirks his lips in the form of a small smile when he hears this.

"Loud on the outside, loud on the inside I guess."

He shrugs his shoulders as if to say 'I can't change who I am.'

"Indeed. And as to the actions that I was referring to earlier, they are the ones where you feel the need to sacrifice your own safety to ensure mine. They are quite illogical."

Kirk gives Spock's hand an experimental squeeze and is pleasantly surprised to see Spock's pupils dilate.

"What can I say? I am an extremely illogical human."

The Captain squeezes the Vulcans hand again and he is sure that he hears a moan escape Spock's mouth. Kirk finds this to be the hottest thing he has ever heard.

"Captain, I do not believe we have finished discussing..."

Spock does not get to finish because Kirk is pulling Spock by the hand that he still holds and places his other hand behind his neck, so that he can smash their lips together in a brutal kiss.

Spock groans and this allows Kirk's tongue to invade the Vulcan's mouth. Kirk absently notes that Spock tastes of undefinable spices and decides then and there that it is his new favourite flavour.

Spock's hand that is not connected to his captain's, is now grasping at the hair of the golden man before him.

They finally pull apart and gasp for air, but it is not long before Spock is pulling them closer again. The Vulcan peppers kisses along Kirk's jaw and neck, while the other man moves his hand from his First Officers neck to one of his pointed ears. He begins caressing it from lobe to tip and can feel the body in front of him shiver in pleasure.

"My Thy'la."

Spock says this against Kirk's neck but he hears it clearly. Before he can ask what it means, the red alert sound.

They quickly pull apart and race to the door.

Kirk mumbles a quite "shit!" as he follows Spock out of his quarters.


	4. Always with the Klingons!

**Probably will have the last chapter up tonight. You guys are just so lucky that I hate to leave things unfinished and don't really want to my assignment.**

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Captain and First Officer made it to the Bridge in record time. Their previous activities pushed to the back of their minds.

Kirk notices with some satisfaction that all of the Alpha command crew are now at their stations event though their designated shift was over hours ago. He trusts Beta and Gamma crew, but these people are the best and he needs the best in a crisis..

"What have we got Sulu?"

Sulu turns to his captain with a grim expression on his usually animated face.

"Klingons again, sir. Actually, the same ones we were up against earlier."

Uhura turns from her station to Kirk, with one hand glued to her earpiece.

"They are demanding to speak to you, Captain. They are seriously pissed off...sir."

Kirk smirks at the fact that when Uhura says "sir" it sounds more like "dickhead." He would call her out on it but it just too damn entertaining.

Kirk waves his hands in the air as an outlet for his exasperation.

"Klingons! Always with the fucking Klingons! It is actually starting to really piss me off. I actually miss the days of crazy, future Romulans running amok. At least they weren't as predictable!"

Spock lifts his eyebrow in a certain way that tells Kirk that the Vulcan is questioning his sanity.

"Captain, maybe we should focus our attention on the problem before us and discover the logical solution."

Kirk gives him an eye roll but decides to humour his XO and sits down in his command chair.

"Okay guy, let's think of a plan that doesn't involve me becoming a Klingon love slave."

Bones visibly shudders.

"Hell Jim! I don't have enough brain bleach to wipe that image from my head!"

Kirk faces his best friend and sends a wink.

"Come on Bones. Is it so hard to believe that aliens would find me... aesthetically pleasing?"

He says the last part while casting a sideways glance at Spock. The only change in the stoic Vulcans appearance is the olive tinge that has gathered at the tips of his ears.

Kirk counts it as a win.

Uhura gives a pointed cough and everyone turns to face her.

"They are still waiting for a response."

Chekov, who has had his nose buried in a PADD, begins bouncing in his seat as if it is painful for him to stay still.

"I have it... I think."

He jumps out of his seat altogether and runs to the captains chair. He hands his PADD over to Kirk, who skims over it, and then passes it to Spock.

"The formulas are correct, Captain. Mr Scott will need help though because he is not as adept at hacking as you or I. It would be logically if we both make our way down to Engineering."

Kirk looks towards Sulu and is about to speak before he changes his mind and swing round to Uhura.

"Uhura, I want you in the command chair when we contact the Klingons. I need you to keep the bastards busy for 20 minutes after I confirm that Spock and I have made it to Engineering."

Kirk can see that Sulu is about to object but he cuts him off.

"Sulu, I need my best pilot and navigator at the helm ready to fly us the fuck out of here. That's you and Chekov."

He is happy to see that the Asian's whole is body relaxing and Kirk begins to speak again.

"Also, have you heard Uhura swear in Klingon? That is some scary shit right there! They won't know what hit 'em."

Kirk stands from his chair and Spock is by his side in an instant. They head towards the turbolift.

"You have the Conn, Uhura. Chekov, send a message to Scotty with the formulas for the signal and warp modifications. Tell him that Spock and I will be there soon."

Just before the turbolift door closes, Kirk hears a pair of "Aye, sir" confirming that they have heard his orders.

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When the Captain and First Officer make it down to Engineering, Chief Engineer Scott is waiting for them.

"So we're gonna send a signal that will allow us to hack into their system, which will hopefully disable their shields and their weapons."

He takes a quick breath and then continues on.

"Once they are down, Sulu will skillfully blow them sky high and if Spock and I do our job properly , then we will be able to warp out of here at Warp 9 before re-enforcements show up."

Kirk and Spock look at each other and then back at the Scotsman.

"That about sums it up. You got any problems with the plan?"

Scotty's face suddenly splits into a huge grin.

"Nae, just making sure. So, I am guessing you will send the signal, while Mr Spock and I fiddle with the Warp Drive?"

Kirk sends his own beaming smile back at Scotty and pats him on the shoulder.

"Got it in one. Let's do this."

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They each do their part and they are nearly home free, but something is missing in the signal and right before the Klingon ship is destroyed they manage to let loose a lucky shot. A really lucky shot.

It hits Engineering and it hits them hard. The Warp Drive is still functioning but little else is.

Kirk and Spock are scrambling together from computer to computer to ensure that the Warp Drive remains stable. Scotty has disappeared into the bowels of Engineering to help his team save what they can.

Spock and Kirk are standing shoulder to shoulder at one of the more damaged terminals when a loud cracking overhead has them both looking up. A piece of the bulkhead has come loose and is falling. He pushes Spock out of the way and then he is covered by the large chunk of steel and titanium.

Kirk can hear Spock screaming his name but he can't seem to find his voice.

He feels no pain. He feels nothing and that is not a good sign.

Suddenly there is light and he can see Spock single-handedly throw the heavy fucking piece of bulk head like it was made or foil.

_'I am dying and all I can think about is how I want Spock to use that strength against me in the bedroom. I should not be this turned on.'_

Kirk giggles, but to his ears it is just a wet gurgling sound.

"Do not try to talk Jim. Doctor McCoy is on his way."

Kirk is trying to focus on Spock but his eyesight is getting dark around the edges and his eyelids are getting heavy.

Spock can seem to sense that his captain is struggling to remain with him. The Vulcan reaches out with one hand and places his fingers on Kirk's psi points.

"Jim, I am going to meld with you and regulate the functions of your organs until the doctor arrives."

All of a sudden Kirk can feel a warmth spread through his body and wonderful tingling sensation at the back of his mind. He wants to feel more of that. Kirk mentally reaches for the presence at the back of his mind with all the energy left in him.

"No Jim! You must not reach for me or..."

Kirk ignores him and finally has a solid grasp of what he had been seeking in his mental hands.

_'Oh.'_

The last thing he knows is a bright white light filling him mind, body and soul.


	5. Sneaky Vulcan!

**Phew! This is the last chapter. A little shorter than the other chapter but it felt unnatural to try and milk more out of it.**

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**I don't own Star Trek.**

Kirk feels safe. He hasn't felt this safe since he was five years old and his mother camped out in his bedroom with a phaser because he was sure there was a Romulan hiding in his closet.

His mind felt as if it was surrounded by the warmest, cosiest blanket in existence. Feelings of love, acceptance and adoration were softly pulsing through his very soul.

He wasn't alone any more.

_'You will never be alone again, Thy'la.'_

There was that word again. Kirk knows it is special but the full meaning still alludes him. He is about to ask the comforting presence in his head what it means, but then he feels himself waking up and the thought is gone.

Kirk's eyes flutter open.

_'Oh Sickbay. We must stop meeting like this. No, seriously. I. Hate. You!'_

He goes to wipe the sleep from his eyes, but his left hand won't budge. He looks down and notices an olive toned hand entwined with his and holding it firmly. The hand is attached to a sleeping Vulcan, who happens to be his First Officer.

"He's been here for two days. Won't leave your side for nothing. Stubborn damn hobgoblin! Scotty's in command."

Kirk is startled out of his observations by his best friend who is standing on the right side of the bed.

"So what was the damage Bones?"

Kirk's throat is dry but he chooses to ignore it in favour of getting his answers.

"Ruptured organs, severe internal bleeding and nearly all your ribs were broken. Spock kept you stable with his Vulcan mind voodoo, while I repaired the worst of damage."

McCoy sighs and lowers his voice further so as to not wake the sleeping XO.

"If it wasn't for him, you would have been dead before I even got there. He was a mess Jim. He only kept it together because you would have died if he didn't."

Kirk quickly glances over at Spock but his gaze doesn't linger. He looks back at his CMO.

"Is he okay?"

McCoy lays his hand on his best friends shoulder and squeezes lightly.

"He's fine... physically anyway. Something went on when he melded with you. He won't tell me what. He says he needs to talk to you first."

Kirk is about to ask more questions but McCoy halts him by squeezing his shoulder again.

"Look I gotta go. You weren't the only crew member hurt by the blast. Any problems, just buzz me."

Before Kirk can respond, the doctor has left the room.

Kirk begins to feel sleepy and just as he is about to drift off, he feels something familiar brush against his mind like a caress.

He looks over to where Spock is to find a pair of chocolate coloured eyes watching him with open adoration.

"You're still in my head."

Spock's lips tilt in the equivalent of a smile at Kirk's calm statement.

"Indeed. During our meld you accidentally bonded us. You were not to know. Do not blame yourself."

Kirk eyes widen in surprise at that piece of information.

"Bonded... as in married?"

Spock massages his hand and Kirk can feel affection pass into his mind. It is successful in getting Kirk to relax.

"Do not worry Jim. We can dissolve the bond once we get to..."

Suddenly, Spock is flooded with feelings of panic. He sees that Kirk is practically shaking with it.

"You don't want it? You don't want to be bonded to me? I thought that we had something! I can't lose..."

Spock places a finger on Kirk's lips and rests his forehead against the other man's.

"Be calm, Thy'la . I was only thinking of what you might want, but if you desire to stay bonded with me then I am... pleased."

Kirk's whole body relaxes as he feels a powerful wave of happiness saturate his whole body. He moves his head slightly forward so that he can close the gap between their lips. The kiss is feather light.

Spock pulls away first.

"There is something you must know about being bonded to me."

Kirk sits there waiting patiently for Spock to continue.

"I will know any thought that passes through your head and if you decide to endanger yourself to protect me then I will stop you. I am not a delicate flower and you will cease treating me as such."

Kirk opens his mouth to comment but closes it again when he sees the look on Spock's face. He needs to be a good boy now and listen.

"You also need to know that as your bond mate I will feel any pain that you might experience. Do you wish to be the source of my agony, Jim?"

The Vulcan gives Kirk the most angelic expression his species could possibly be capable of.

_'Sneaky Vulcan!'_

Spock's eyes are shining.

_'I will do what I must to keep you safe. You are half of me.'_

To Kirk's credit, he shows no sign of shock when faced with the mental conversation that just took place. Just a little bit of amusement.

"I can't promise that I wont get hurt protecting you, but I promise to try."

Spock leans in and kisses Kirk on the forehead.

"Of all the times you have pushed me out of the way of danger and put yourself in front of it, have you ever thought that simply warning me of approaching danger, so that I may move, might be a more logical course of action?"

Kirk blushes beet red.

"It actually never occurred to me."

Kirk swears he can hear Spock whisper _'silly human' _into his mind and he laughs.

_'My mother always said that I was slow on the uptake, but that I do eventually get there.'_

Spock chuckles deeply in his mind and pulls Kirk into a tight embrace.

"_Indeed.'_

Kirk snuggles closer to Spock and is nearly asleep when he remember something.

"So what does 'Tahaylar' mean anyway."

This time Spock laughs out load because no one has ever butchered the Vulcan language in such an adorable way before.

"When you can pronounce it, I will tell you the meaning."

Kirk hums in agreement.

"Deal!"

/

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ****This is seriously the end. I won't be writing a sequel. I will however start writing a new story. I am thinking an Academy fic. Probably will start posting it mid week.**


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